The begining of.....something

I'm just going to be honest here. I'm 25. I've been in Greenland for a while now and honestly, there has been a lot of nothing going on here. I've done a lot of reading, a little bit of thinking, and not quite enough reflecting.

I've always been an successful person. I never had to work very hard to be "successful" - that is, to get through high school, college, and my masters degree with good grades, working a little (but not a lot) the entire time and making more than I have been spending (including tuition) since June 2006. I've dated some very nice girls for 6 months, a year, 2 year, 3 years - I don't think I've had a relationship make it past a week and not go to six months.

In this horrid economy, I found a decent job more or less in my field, within 3 weeks after I started looking.

But of all these things that I've created for myself, sometimes I wonder - is this what I want? It's a rather rare event in life for me to see something that I want. Conversely, I'd like to say I'm pretty good at recognizing it.

My car. I knew I wanted this car from the day I learned it existed. I drove my loud and uncomfortable 1986 Toyota for six years because I wanted to find this car, and would have no car in between. Handing over $7500 cash to the man with this car in Baltimore, MD after a 400 mile trip to get there didn't take a second thought - and I hadn't even driven the car. I knew..I just knew.

Sailing! I wasn't a sailor in fall 06. My sailing experience consisted of a few random classes at summer camp long ago and C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader. but again - I knew! I knew enough to that I bought myself a sailboat big enough to live on, and a pickup truck big enough to pull it. Remember, I don't enjoy spending money. I live off potatoes, beef, and pasta. I live in the cheapest apartments that I can stand. But when I want something, I know it. In this fall, I knew I wanted to be a sailor. A funny thing about sailboats is that for $3000 you can get them in all kinds of sizes, and not knowing the absolute joy in owning a little sailboat, purchased a big one. It served to get me sailing, and it got me onto the sailing team - in the end, it wasn't the physical boat that I wanted. It was to become a sailor, a desire that has not subsided in the least!

More recently, there was a certain 24 hour delivery mission that I wanted to do. It involved 12 hours of driving in 24, to see someone whom I had only met once, and desired to make it twice. I had no more expectations than this, and no more than this happened. It was worth it.

The few things I listed here, and the many I didn't list - these are the real successes in my life. Call me selfish if you wish, but the things that I really wanted are the ones where I spend the most money, too. (I don't mean to say that spending money creates happiness. I simply mean that when I really want something, someone else tends to benefit, too)

Do you ever do things that you regret? Buy things that you know are too much money, or that you don't really want? Work for an employer or go to a school that you hate?

I used to.

No more.